Why Telling a Client to “Eat Healthier” Can Backfire

Imagine this client: they are working a sedentary job, eating a Standard American Diet, and drinking caffeine to get through the day. They struggle with unwanted weight, poor sleep, brain fog, and fatigue.

You have been working with them for some time, but no matter what advice or encouragement you provide, they still end up at Starbucks every day.

You are telling them exactly what they need to change, why won’t they listen?!

What if I told you that instructing your client to change is counterproductive?

It is not because they are not listening or being defiant, but it is because of some fundamental human psychology.

It works like this:

They are already having an internal debate in their head: “I should start eating healthier” vs “I don’t have the time or energy to eat healthier”.

By telling them “you should start eating healthier”, their instinct will be to verbally justify why they “don’t have the time or energy to eat healthier”.

We rely on what we hear ourselves say to form our thoughts, so you are essentially guiding them to verbalize the opposition to the healthy goal.

What is the alternative?

A different approach is to guide them to verbalize what you want them to do (and ultimately, what they want to do).

Instead of instructing them to “eat healthier”, you can ask good questions such as “what is something quick and easy that you can eat for breakfast” or “what are your favorite ways to eat vegetables”?

This way, you are guiding them to verbalize their ideas and goals, which they are more likely to follow-through with. This is called motivational interviewing.

Isn’t this somewhat manipulative?

No, because they still have the freedom to say or do whatever they want.

As a good coach, you can draw forth their intrinsic motivation and guide them to verbalize and act on what they truly want to change.

At the end of the day, you are doing more questioning and empowering your clients to choose health and wholeness for themselves.

To learn more about Motivational Interviewing, this is a great book.